Song and Music by Micheal W. Smith
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In Loving Memory:
Charity Lynn Smith Helton
January 21,1968 - July 24, 2008
Charity is not only My Sister, she was my best friend. We lost touch over the last few years because she moved and then got addicted to drugs. We used to do all kinds of things together. We raised our children together, went shopping; out to eat or just hung out. We could never get along though if we lived together. It seems our two worlds clashed, but we were fine as long as she had her place and I had mine. I remember when my life was kinda messed up, Charity would alway be there for me with understanding and even cried with me. When her life was messed up, she always thought I was judging her and would never let me in. I later found out she was under the influence of drugs.
One of my favorite past times with my sister was Holidays. She was an exceptional cook and always cooked enough for an army, but you better get to her house early because trust me, the army showed up. She loved her children and took pride in them all. She worked hard and I know she loved the Lord. After she died, we went to her house and her husband gave us some of her things. One of the things that I requested was a Bible that I had given her. The sad part is I forgot to put the year in it and now all I know was I gave it to her for Christmas one year. When I got home, I begin to look through it. The cover was showing some wear so I knew she was using it. There was two tiny light rose colored stains on the front; my guess was it was her tears. She suffered so badly from this addiction and wanted depressantly to rid of herself of the mess that had taken her life and destroyed it. I open up the Bible and began to look at the many chapters and scriptures that she had highlighted. Most of which was about marriage. She loved her husband but in a sense blamed him for her addiction. She blamed the doctors for the prescription that eventually took her life. Her marriage was failing, her life was failing and in the end her heart failed her completely.
I miss my best friend and wish so much that I had not taken her life for granite. I knew she was sick and a week and a half before she died, I called my mother on a Sunday and told her we needed to find Charity. You see that Christmas, Charity and I had a falling out, over a bottle of prescription medication that was mine. I knew she took it and I was angry. Mom spent the better half of that following year trying to get us back together. I reached out but to no avail, she did not respond. Anyway, that Saturday night I dreamed I had to break the news to people that Charity had died and it was so real, so vivid that I was frightened of my own nightmares. But when we couldn't get her on the phone because it had been disconnected, we just let it go and never once tried to find out where she had moved. I was told the early part of the week she passed, she had told her mother in law that she was glad that I wanted to get together with her. That was on a Tuesday and she voiced her intentions to call me. That Thursday, July 24th 2008 her addiction took her life. We never spoke again. I love you sis and I miss you. You will live in my heart forever.
I now raise her son Dusty, who she adored and love with all her heart. I share this responsibilty with my mother Mary and my brother VJ. Dusty has ADHD and is on a lot of medication. He is doing 100% so much better than when I first got him. He has been going to church with our neighbor and finally has a social life. Please keep him in your prayers for this road that he travels is certainly a dusty one.
If you have a loved one or friend that is addicted to drugs or even alcohol, don't turn a blind eye. Although they seem to not want help, they are crying out in distress for someone to make them look at themselves in a mirror. Seek council and do what ever you have to do to help the one you love. Don't do as I have done and think that she or he will be ok, because in the end, they won't without your help. You can never give up on them even if you feel like it. And pray for me as I fight the demons within myself.